"sher sabke andar hota hain....

... bas ik ungali karne waala chahiye..." this was a dialogue in a movie I watched on this weekend. Surprisingly I have been very much influenced by it. It had been throughout my mind over the weekend and the days ahead.

I had been thinking how true is this statement. To some extent it is.

As we had seen in the India’s performance in this year ICC Cricket World Cup. It lost its first match with a team, it was least expected to get defeated by. Here comes the “ungali” part… so the “sher” inside the Team India awakens. and it gives an incredibly wonderful performance against Bermuda. I agree that defeating that team was “no big deal”. But be it any team, scoring a massive figures of 413 runs is huge… and defeating by such a wide difference (257 runs) cannot be ignored by anyone.

But then the “sher” goes back to the “invisible mode” and India lost its very next match, and team India packed their bags to return to home. So what do we believe about the saying? True or false?

I am still looking for more examples… real life incidences to come to a conclusion… as in my own life, I haven’t yet bumped into the ungali-guy or ungali-gal…or ungali-incidence.

Anyways whatever it is… it is definitely well said… “sher sabke andar hota hain…”

A Lovely Starting

"What has happened to me??", the first thing I asked myself after I gained my senses after 8 hrs. I looked at the time. It’s just 8:15 am. I wondered for sometime what should I do… I had several options, get out of the bed and brush, keep lying for a li’l while and throw out or keep lying and lying and lying.

I chose the first one. (Surprised??? Even I was… after all it was just 8 something in the morning) so I get up… just to realize what will I do getting up so early. An early start obviously means a longer day ahead. There was time when I liked…or rather loved those long, long days. But now I just feel that night might live a li’l longer.

I decided. Went to the basin, picked my toothbrush and then had an early morning glimpse of myself in the mirror… set my hair… and started brushing. When I got tired of that weird up-down movement of the brush, something clicked to me… NEWSPAPER. Rushed out to get the paper… I went through a few pages, checked my answers for last crossword puzzle… and quite happy with my performance…

I got bored again. I turned on the news channel… few minutes passed and I found myself surfing through channels… got bored… so early… yes I did… anyways thought to drink a cup of tea.

I know it’s a wonderful idea, but no milk at home. I checked my wallet and frowned… NO CASH ( I had to go to the ATM last night only, but I somehow managed to cut short my trip back home from office to buy fuel for the bike today, and yes, that made me plan to draw cash today).

But ATM is quite far. No options. “Lets search for coins around”, my not-so-active mind suggested. Started with the window platform, NO MONEY there… opened the closet, moving my eyes on all the corners of my rack, NO MONEY… but found something interesting: My Traveling Kit. I fiddled around with it. and HURRAY!!! found 2…another 2+1…. Yeah I found 5 bucks. Checked the time again... 8:45 am.

Now I needed 2.50 bucks more. I had been through all my wallets I don’t use now. I peeked in every spot of the house… all the boxes in kitchen. No help. Disappointed, I thought for a while… my TV still nattering something or other… my clock showing 8:55 am.

I looked around, comforted myself in the bed again and….. Zzzz….

Waking Up

I met all my friends from the college and the school. We all went for some party. There was a performer who was to put on a live show, but as always he had not arrived yet. But still it was such a great fun... and then the host made the big announcement... the artist comes on the stage and start singing loud South-Indian Classical Song.

"Now what's that?" After such a long time I had a nice dream and I tried to do everything to stay in it, but ultimately, I had to open my eyes, sit straight and analyze what's happening.

It hadn't taken me more than a few milliseconds to realize that my old-aged landlord is playing some crappy stuff early in the morning at 7:15am. It was so loud that I had mistaken it to be played in my own room.

Now come on, if someone seriously likes something, then what is the need to impose the same on others.

I generally don't listen to rock music loudly in the morning. But this was my answer to my landlord's behavior.

“DOING NOTHING”

It wasn’t that easy to do what we say “doing nothing”.

Whenever I started doing most of the things in life, I considered myself not enough qualified to do them. But for the first time, I succeeded locating something which, I felt, “suits me”… perfectly my kinda work… “doing nothing” is undoubtedly doing nothing.

“doing nothing” is my new project… my new work… The requirements were clear… indeed very clear. I had to come to my desk… sit for hours… and “do nothing”. Looked very alluring, easy-going. It required no particular domain knowledge, no technical wisdom, no communication skills, and no creativity. What it required was just kill-the-time-without-doing-anything certification.

I was sure I had all the traits for the post… and was somehow OKAY with being a part of the “doing nothing” team.

But then the strive for the work began. Initially it all went smooth. No work no cry. I used to carry the I-have-no-work smile on my face. But gradually “doing nothing” that fascinated me… though slightly, but I admit, it did fascinate me… turned into an albatross. The no-work had so much of load in itself that no work can match up to it.

It isn’t that easy to do what we say “doing nothing”.

People started considering me good-for-nothing figure… for that matter, I myself, considered me as one. My I-have-no-work grin moved to Why-don’t-I-have-work grimace.

But now I think… were the requirements really clear? They weren’t. there were assumptions I had made. I built my own castle on the swamp. And now I know it had to knock down. It was never told I had to do nothing. My team wasn’t named “doing nothing”, not either my project was, and not even my work was to “do nothing”.

It was my perception that I had just one work… “doing nothing”, but I could never realize that “doing nothing” is impossible to do. All these time, pretending doing nothing, I crushed my capabilities. Instead of enhancing my skills, I allowed them to rust.

However, now my Why-don't-I-have-work frown turned into I-work-without-any-work energy 'cuz when I was supposedly “doing nothing”, I had done a lot… I had learnt a lot… and now I feel I have written a lot… and you have read a lot… but remember…

It will never be that easy to do what we say “doing nothing”.

IS THIS?

Beyond the extremities,
Afore the foundations,
Revealing my curiosities,
Coining my assumptions.

I searched for my bliss,
And found my misery,
I explored for my aspiration,
And discovered my desertion.

Was it the way or the course,
I was searching them?
Or was it my doom
That brought me the unasked?

During these years of my life,
I modeled many relationships
With my sorrows and grieves,
With my solitary and my dreams.

I live in that social order
Which I created myself,
Though I didn’t intend to
But still I inhabit it.

Is it for my creeds
That I do not amend?
Or is it my hopes
That deteriorates me?

In this uphill struggle,
I bank on my immortal beliefs,
Which give me nothing
More than the deceiving pursues.

I doubt on me when
Others confide in me,
I appraise me when
Others repudiate me.

Is this the query I pose,
That leads me to the Deceptions?
Or is this the answer I provide,
That shapes my uncertain existence?